TL;DR: RVing as a couple is a dream for many, but close quarters can strain relationships. Key tips: communicate openly, share chores, respect personal space, and maintain healthy routines to strengthen your bond. Embrace the adventure!
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Want to go RVing but aren’t sure that your relationship can handle it? Do you have concerns about living in such close proximity? Harvest Hosts takes a look at some ways to overcome those fears.
RVing is a dream for a lot of couples entering their retirement years. But it has become increasingly possible for those still in their working years to try out this crazy adventure too! Whether you are in the midst of RVing as a couple, or considering making the jump, we know this is a dreamy scenario.
Imagine waking up each day with the sun shining on your face. Chasing beautiful scenery, spotting wildlife, and spending every day fully basking in nature. And you could do all of this with your partner in life right by your side.
But is RVing for every couple? And how do you deal with living in such close quarters?
The dream is real and fully attainable, but there are some obstacles you might have to overcome. In fact, you can probably list off quite a few right now without ever spending a day on the road with your partner.
If you are wondering whether or not your relationship can survive the RV life, you aren’t the only one who has ever asked that question. In fact, that question has been asked by many people over the years, and it has stopped a lot of couples from ever pursuing the RV life—or even an extended season of RVing—with their significant other.
Each couple comes into RVing with different concerns, backgrounds, and histories. And sometimes living in such a small space and spending so much time together can be a little tricky. Listed below are some of the most common concerns couples have heading into their RV journey together:
Those questions are legitimate things to consider before jumping into the RV travel journey. With good communication and expectation-setting, you can avoid some of these challenges.. RVing tends to magnify issues that exist and eliminate some stressors you didn’t know were eating at you on a daily basis.
You have your list of concerns, but there are other issues at play too. Try not to be discouraged, there are tons of ways to work through it all. The hidden issues are things you might not know until you know, and then it may feel too late. Below are examples of some of those things.
Every fart, burp, snort, sniffle, cracking of knuckles, or weird tick is magnified by a thousand in small spaces. Even the smallest of things can get so frustrating over the course of time—and it won’t take very long. Be aware of this going into your trip or new RV life, and try to give a little grace to your partner—understanding that you’ve got plenty of your own annoying habits too!
If you’re RVing during your working years, and your career path is well established, it is relatively easy to maintain course if you have the ability to work remotely. But if you have a dream of expanding and growing your career, it can get quite tricky. The constant movement from place to place can get distracting.
Plus, your mind begins racing about your next adventure, next waterfall, next mountain, next Harvest Hosts stay. It isn’t that it can’t be done, but it could be a little trickier than you thought. So try to discuss this as a couple, and come up with ideas of ways to stay on track with work.
When you are on the road, you lose the benefits of a full kitchen. If you’re used to dishwashers and ovens, you may have a tougher time adjusting to a cramped RV kitchen.
You won’t be able to cook or bake everything as you did at home. Instead, you have to settle for different items. The kitchen is small and your desire to cook elaborate meals—and clean up those dishes—will reduce over time.
Learning to simplify your meals is something some people find incredibly frustrating. But you could try finding new recipes online that are quick and easy in the RV. And then you won’t be comparing them to your old favorites.
Even if you stay near your hometown, you will begin to notice a difference among its people. In the United States, there is a huge difference in the people between Montana, Tennessee, Arizona, and Ohio. Each region has its own flavor, which can be fun and interesting. But sometimes you just miss “your” people.
Enough of the negative! The positives far outweigh any of the issues mentioned above. And once you hit the road and start looking for all of the amazing benefits of RVing as a couple, you’ll realize it is absolutely worth the decision to pull the trigger. So here are some things that can actually improve in your relationship with your partner from spending time together on the open road.
When you first connected with your significant other, you probably started spending more time together because you enjoyed it. The difficult part is that life tends to pull couples in different directions and slowly push them apart. When you choose to start traveling in your RV, you’ll reconnect to that initial friendship. You’ll start to realize that you actually do like them, not just love them. And you can rediscover what you loved about them in the beginning.
Being in tight spaces requires increased communication. Long driving days are fantastic ways to have conversations you have been putting off for some other time. I mean… you’re just sitting there for hours anyway, so why not take advantage of it, right? And because the driving days are frequent enough, you can make it a point to set aside “driving day conversations.” These days give you the space to not quickly come to conclusions and decisions. Plus, having your eyes distracted by the scenery can help alleviate some of the moments of tension.
When you leave the worries of home behind, you’ll realize how much there is to taking care of and maintaining a house. A lot of people spend their whole weekends weeding garden beds, doing home improvement projects, and catching up on household chores. When you hit the open road in your RV, you suddenly have more free time because your maintenance is way less. You’ll have more time to do things you enjoy, or just to be in the moment.
Stress is really a toxic thing humans deal with at an unhealthy level. But when we remove just the smallest portion from our lives, we quickly realize how much more to life there really is to enjoy.
There is a sense of comfort in knowing you can hide parts of yourself from other people. But that is also a lot of work, and ultimately unhealthy in deep relationships. By living in an RV, it is hard to hide parts of yourself from those you are sharing the space with.
This might scare you at first, but your relationship—if you’re really committed to it—will thrive in this small house on wheels.
Typically RVers aren’t hitting the road because the inside of an RV is more comfortable than a traditional home. People tend to jump into the RV life because they are seeking adventure, sunsets, warm days, and mountain views.
By living in the RV world, you tend to be more active. You take more walks, jump in more lakes, ride your bike more, and spend more time outdoors. When you are doing this, your physical health will increase. And you might be shocked at how much more active you become.
The great part about being more active is that you can do this with your significant other. You can enjoy taking walks or going for a bike ride together—have fun being in nature together, getting fresh air, and benefitting from the endorphins that exercise gives you. And typically, while you’re doing physical activities together like walking or playing disc golf, you’ll naturally enjoy having conversations together too.
The other nice part about outdoor activities is that you can do them alone too. We all need a little alone time. So if you’re feeling a little cooped up in the RV, or you need to clear your head a bit… go for a run while your partner stays at the RV, or vice versa. You can use physical activities to improve multiple aspects of your life and your relationship. And if your physical health improves, that will always affect your mental and emotional health in a positive way too.
Studies by the American Psychological Association have proven that mental health is improved by spending time outdoors in nature. The studies found that being in nature has deep cognitive benefits, plus it eliminates busy brains and mental fatigue.
Their studies also showed that Americans spend 10+ hours a day looking at their screens. When you are traveling in your RV, you’ll still have your screens, but the beauty outside will be more enticing to you. It will lure you out into nature and invite you into the benefits of outdoor living.
Not only will this help each of you individually, but it will help you as a couple as well. If you are both mentally healthier, you can have a healthier relationship and thrive together better. And everything else in life will follow suit.
And if you are traveling with kids, the study also showed it had a dramatic impact on stress reduction and attention restoration for kids. So maybe the next summer or winter break should be spent taking the kids for a road trip in your RV or camper.
The American Psychological Association has been encouraging people to spend more time outside for emotional health benefits too. It is no secret that physical, mental, and emotional health work together to improve the overall well-being of humans.
Time in nature has been proven to ease anxiety, depression, and other emotional and mental health concerns. It can also increase your brain function to help you better separate invasive unwanted feelings from feelings that are uplifting and encouraging.
And if you’re hoping to improve your relationship with your significant other, wouldn’t you want to take advantage of the benefits of nature to help you both become healthier emotionally? A simple walk through a park or hike through the wilderness can actually increase the quality of our lives in all three areas at one time—emotionally, mentally, and physically.
When you venture into the RV life together, you will build a different level of connection. You are each other's best—and often only—friend on the road. You will rely on one another for emotional support, mental clarity on career concerns, and support as you navigate new places in an oversized vehicle.
The connection can be stressful at times, but it grows and evolves into what you each need. And you can rely on each other’s strengths throughout this adventure to help fill in the gaps of your weaknesses.
People often say “life is an adventure” which is true, but RVers take it to the next level. When you and your partner hit the road for a chance at the nomadic life, you will realize how many unexpected turns you’ll take.
You can have the best-planned road trip, but life still throws you curveballs like flash floods, forest fires, or mudslides closing roads down. This forces you to change plans on the fly. These are oftentimes the most memorable places because you didn’t have time to research them for hours.
But it is also why you’ll want to strive for a healthy relationship, partnership, and stream of communication. Because things will go wrong, and plans will change. But if you continue to build a strong foundation, then during these uncertain times, you can be sure that you have each other’s backs, and that you’ll get through it together.
One of the ways your relationship can move from surviving RVing to thriving while RVing is to have healthy rhythms. The thing about rhythms is that they are created, whether you know it or not. The difference is intentionality. You can either let rhythms happen to you, or you can make rhythms work for you. And when you are RVing, it is imperative that your rhythms work for both you and your partner.
If you were living in a traditional home with your partner—before your RV life—without good habits, now is the time to make that change. And don’t worry… new, healthier rhythms can be put into place, even if you’ve never tried this before. Just make sure that you and your partner are on the same page.
Healthy rhythms are essential to your relationship. In the first year, it will be incredibly tempting to jump from place to place and “see it all.” But it won’t take long to realize this is unsustainable. Plus, you will end up adding as much stress to your life as you just left behind. So let’s take a look at what some healthy rhythms look like. And what simple tweaks are that you can make to your life together.
Be on the same page about what your priorities are. Some couples will value being in beautiful places, others will value visiting friends, and some others will try to chase the sunny, warm weather. Whatever your major things in life are, communicate about those, and make sure they are on the calendar.
A lot of couples have major tension by trying to make everything of the utmost importance. In reality, not everything can be a priority for your travels. If you want to be close to family in western Pennsylvania for the holidays but you don’t want to see snow, this cannot happen.
Create a calendar that allows for the major things in your life to make sense and you won’t find yourself driving back and forth across the country multiple times a year. That is simply unsustainable and super expensive—though Harvest Hosts can make those trips amazing.
Morning routines can get a bit tricky in such a small space. Many people in the US these days are blessed to have at least two bathrooms, and you may have gotten used to the luxury of being able to both get ready in the morning at the same time. But that’s quite different in an RV.
Remember that if you’re the first one up, you can’t hog the bathroom for an hour because your partner is going to need to go to the bathroom once they first wake up. And with a small hot water tank, you don’t want to accidentally use up all the hot shower water.
Instead, maybe one of you can shower at night, and the other in the morning. And remember to be flexible with taking turns in the bathroom in the morning—and give yourselves plenty of time to each get a chance with the bathroom.
A great way to take turns and do the morning RV dance is by having one person shower while the other makes the morning coffee. And remember to respect each other’s morning needs. Some people are not too energetic in the mornings, and they need some quiet time to wake up. While others may enjoy listening to music. In this case, a good set of headphones can really make a difference in helping give both of you what you need in the morning.
And maybe one or both of you likes to have quiet time in the morning for reading, meditation, prayer, etc. If you both enjoy this… great! If not, maybe the other person can go for a walk with the dogs to give their partner some quiet space in the RV.
This is also a great idea when it comes time for “number 2.” It can be quite awkward for some people to go “number 2” in such a small space with thin walls and doors. So maybe the other person can go for a walk, or even listen to music or watch a TV show to help drown out the noise. And remember, bathroom products like Poo-Pourri are a must for RV living!
Lastly, be considerate of your significant other’s sensitivities to scents. If you use scented hair spray, aftershave, perfume, cologne, or lotion… using these strong-smelling products in your tiny RV can make the whole place smell like an aerosol can. Instead, take your hair products and lotions outside to apply them. Because no matter how great you think they may smell, if it’s too strong in a small space, it’s going to linger for quite a while!
Similar to the morning routines, evening routines can be tricky too—especially if you go to bed at different times. Thankfully, some of the larger RV and campers do have a separate bedroom space. But again, the walls are thin. So using a good pair of comfortable headphones for watching your late-night TV shows, or for surfing on the computer while your partner tries to sleep is necessary.
When RVs do have separate bedroom spaces, they are usually separated by the bathroom. So if you’re going to stay up later than your partner, make sure to use the bathroom and get ready for bed while they’re still up. Then you can go back to watching your favorite show.
If you’re the one going to bed first, try using a noise machine or a loud fan to help drown out all of the little extra noises. No matter how quiet your partner is trying to be, they are going to accidentally make some creaks and bumps. Plus, a noise machine will help drown out any extra noises from outside, and it can help cover up your partner’s snoring.
Lastly, an upgraded mattress is a must! Most RVs come with a pretty cheap mattress that is fine for the occasional weekend stay. But if you’re trying to go on longer RV trips, or even jump into the full-time RV life, you’re going to want a comfortable, supportive mattress. This will help you both get a better night’s sleep, and not feel so cranky the next morning.
When you’re planning for a driving day in the RV, there are a few things you can think through to help it go as smoothly as possible. If you want to help the main driver not feel so tired or stressed, let them pick the departure time and avoid driving at night.
On top of that, if you are the main “co-pilot,” try to be as helpful as possible with having the GPS directions ready, clearly communicate which way to turn—and communicate it well in advance—and look ahead for rest areas, restaurants, and gas stations. Driving a large RV or camper is already quite stressful. So helping your partner focus on the road will help alleviate some of that unneeded stress.
Another great way to prepare is to pre-plan and pre-prep meals for the driving day. That way, when you stop for lunch, you can save time and money by pulling out the simple meal you’ve already planned for.
And if you’re the main driver… remember to enjoy the drive, and don’t be in a hurry. When planning the trip route, try reducing the number of miles you plan to drive each day, so that you don’t feel rushed. And this way, you can enjoy stopping off at beautiful overlooks, stretching your legs, checking out a quaint town along the way, or taking a break to walk the dogs.
And remember, these long drives are the perfect time for longer, deeper conversations. This may not naturally happen in your typical everyday life, so take advantage of it now. You can help solve problems for one another's work world or just listen to them vent. Whatever is needed. Ask them if they want you to help solve a problem in their life, or just listen to their thoughts and feelings. This time can really help bond the two of you.
If you’re working from the road, make sure to communicate about the upcoming days to help coordinate your work schedules. Having two video calls at a time can hog the bandwidth of your satellite internet, and it can get a little tricky with noise if you don’t have two separate places to have your calls.
Remember to clarify your starting and ending times for your work days. Plan your meals ahead of time to know what to expect. This way, you’re not wasting valuable primary work hours trying to come up with something to eat for lunch. And even if you have a long work day coming up, it’s still helpful to schedule breaks for outdoor time to help alleviate your stress. Maybe during your lunch break, you can eat a quick meal, then go for a walk together before you have to jump back in.
Do you like exploring cities, small towns, National Parks, or spots off the beaten path? Know what you both like to do, and communicate what you like. Similarly to how you may have planned vacations in the past, you might do the same with your exploring days.
Ask yourself… are you wanting to explore culture, the woods, or great food? This can help guide your day and clarify with one another what your hope is for the day ahead. Maybe you need to spend at least a few days in one town to see and do everything you both want to do before moving on to the next place.
There are days you simply need to just be. Human beings get so busy “doing,” we forget that our minds, bodies, and souls do need time to just rest. For some people, it might be a “cabin day” where you literally stay in and around the RV just lounging all day. For others, it might mean a nice Cortado at a coffee shop, a book, and some small talk with strangers.
Figure out what you might need during your recovery days because this will benefit your partner too. You might need the same thing, you might need different things, or you might need a day without your partner. Remember—we all need a little space and alone time. So don’t take offense to this. Instead, plan ahead for recovery days. It’s always easier to take away a recovery day—if you both feel like it’s not needed—than to add it in last minute.
Whatever your fears may be about RVing long-term or full-time with your significant other, we hope that our advice and tips will help alleviate some of those concerns. And no matter what, you’ll never know until you try. So don’t let the worry of the unknown keep you from trying something new and experiencing the adventure of a lifetime!
Just remember, whatever you’re concerned about, we’re here with you every step of the way. At Harvest Hosts, not only can we help you find over 5,000 unique RV stays across North America, but we’ve got tons of helpful advice about RV living, renovations, maintenance, and travel on our Harvest Hosts blog. So throw your worries out the window and start planning your next adventure today!
